Nooo!!! Ive been really lonely these days , now i hang out with nick,Oe,celine,izzy,dubdub and addie becasue they understand ... but i dont really think the rest do.
I have been having many problems , solving each and everyone slowly, and now everyday , i look back and i knew what ive done but what can i do to say sorry , ive done so much bad and so little good , i dont really deserve to be respected by anyone ...

Listening to the song " Irreplaceable " and was thinking ...

Ive got thoughts about killing myself casue i have too many problems , complications ... what the hell .
For once i wished everyone understand me , im not seeking attetion or anything , all i want is to have great friends which i always wished for ... every where i go i get treated like shit , have u ever felt unwanted ?
do u even know what the hell im going through ? u think its easy to cope like this for a 14 year old boy ? I may act as if everything is ok but inside i wanna cry so bad.

Life has ups and downs eh ? why must my downs be now ? everyday ? everyweek?everymonth !
.....Beyonce sings this " You must not know about me,You must not know about me,I can have another you by tomorrow,So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable" think about what it means ?
i guess this must be like what i made people think ? I wish i lived a Life without so much problems while im 14 T.T.

Windmill windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all it on your stride
It is Sticking , falling down
Love forever love is free
Let's turn forever you and me
Windmill windmill for the land
Is everybody In?

Sigh ..... Bye... ill post again tomorrow , I feel horrible/saddened/angry/worried after writing this post , some people shud hate me for who i am but i hope not my true friends !. Thank you Guys for being there for me , i appreciate it ,

Thanks nick,oe,celine,izzy,addie and dubdub for being there for me




<--- A poem--->
In that forgotten part of town
Where wasted hopes and dreams abound,
A wrinkled man with life near end,
In hopes to have at least one friend,
Fashioned bits of wood and things
And made a dummy run by strings

He sat alone for hours on end,
Conversing with his only friend
And found delight within the fact
That he controlled it's every act.
He told it how he never had
A chance, since all his luck was bad
Although he'd tried so to succeed
-The dummy nodded and agreed.

And how his journeys in romance
Had never given him a chance,
And wasn't it a crying shame
That he was always held to blame
When everyone knew, oh so well,
That life is but a living Hell,
Controlled by lust and power and greed?
The dummy nodded and agreed.

With patience that would rival saints,
That dummy sat through all complaints
And, with each little expert tug,
He'd droop his head or bow or shrug
And give some comfort to the man
Who held his lifelines in his hand
And helped to fill a lonely need
When he just nodded and agreed.

Senility increased with time

As did the old man's phantomime,

And feverish fingers pulled with glee

The dummy's dance of misery.

They never left each other's side

Until the day both stopped and died.

We found them lying, hand in hand,

The dummy - and his wooden friend.

<--- The End --->

From this day onwards i will learn from my mistakes , thanks cel!!!!
Ill smile everyday for u guys to see !!!
=D !!!