Bleached

2007-09-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

Hi .. dots.. gah .. okay anyway

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE WEE HERES UR DEDICATION
dunno what is a Shout out though HEHE
yaya michelle wee is a mental crazy woman i think .. who is mad abit lah.. and and.. likes to call me crazy .. lol fine lah nice and funny but sometimes mad .. what the heck ^^ shes a good friend .. a really good friend ? hehe with werid dreams abit lah BUT YEAH SHES FUN =D
later i go buy medicine ur condition very bad alr

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM
Crazy always . fun to be with hehe must come online more often though and become more mad
abit mad also .. gah i keep using mad and mental and crazy . hehe HAVE FUN KIM !!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE AUDREY !!
Auntie audrey hehe!! mad also .. i like to pull ur hair tie its so fun i did that 5 times that day wahhaha and yeah fun .. mad dancer .. easy to pull hair tie ..FUN PERSON =D so have fun and stay... a dancer ?? or a mad auntie up to u hehe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY U ALL

dammit this is 1 happy post gahh

thats about it i think =D

2007-08-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

WOW!!! im updating.. yea whatever ^^ lol its been like so long dang.... lol .. havent been doing much and now exams are coming !! how... i dun even study i think.. i forgot how to study alr hahahaa!! well.. i updated at least.. annd and .. im just trying to make a stupid long post which is sorta working as u can see... wheeee..oo cambodia night on friday ..interesting... the cambodian girls are gonna do a dance then what about the guys... lol nvm wheeeee .. uhh damm it ... gotta goo bye all .. ill post another day... hope its soon tra lalala ding dong and u noe what donald suck marbles or balls or wtv

2007-06-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

wheeeee... oh man... schools gonna start tomorrow and that just sucks man , but... i dont know why i want to go to school lol... well i havent posted in a long time have i
? okay i did its been at least a month or something like that ? okay ill just talk abit , life is been okay but still going up slopes and down slopes and that is annoying , on friday we went to chalet ( the youth ) and... we had fun and blah blah blah and in the end only me hj marcus and dennis stayed but it was fun still . I found 2 coupons that said 2 games of pool free so we went to play for awhile and invited this uncle , but what we didnt know was he was incharge of that thing and instead of playing 2 games he let us play ALOT of games from like 11 until 2am in the morning ?? i forgot lol .

Sat....

woke up at dont know what time in the chalet and went for breakfast then went home duno why i didnt feel sleepy haha, then the day went on dunno doing what i forgot ... well thats about it for sat

Sun...

Went to church early played drums then guitar for like awhile then ltr we had some games and display thingys and then... uhh.. oh yeah we played the fathers day song , it was fun haha really fun its like playing for alot of people is fun i dunno what im talking about but i dont really care or do i O_o

Ive been on gaia chatting with lotsa ppl like red-san and mari-san , they are fun and great people but oh well they live far away from here and thats bad .
maybe when i finish sec4 im outa singapore or sumthing then go overseas to study and like get into band go auditions and stuff if i ever get into a band or go overseas... i shud dream on but anyway i think i might leave singapore .... okay i gotta pack for school although theres nothing to pack casue i lost my timetable .... gahh.. nvm bye ^^

2007-05-14T21:06:00.000+08:00

Todae... i din go ta school becasue its marking day i think ...
i stayed at home slacking eating and much more but it was kinda boring , it is boring casue now a days no 1 really talks online , then very sian so that why i always playing guitar listening to music or just relaxing lol nvm bye

Hmm ?

2007-05-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

Lalalala~~~ happy mothers day to all mothers... okay.. the past few days were kinda okay bah.. yay tml i dun have school , its like YAY!!!! thn i have to go to school on tuesday =[ i wish the hols started alr.. todae i went to church ( like always ) then service then went out for study ... thn ltr went back worship hall to see the girls dance bah.. it was okay but i guess the mothers enjoyed it ... sat and sun i screwed up alot and yeah...shud try harder .. and i must play my guitar more and more and nvr give up!!!Me hj marcus rei yang went for lunch thn rei yang told us more , ALOT more abt guitars and the stores at dunno where , i ate 3 plates of chicken rice!!!lalala~~ drank green tea i think...thn went back to church n hanged out for a few hrs and then ltr marcus plugged in his mp3 and we listen to emo stuff i think... thn after awhile val and aud came back i guess to dunno what bah..

I ate abit too much milo powder and went abit high i gues.. started dunno doing what la... and thn we left...go take 851 thn ltr go mrt take mrt . I went out for dinner with uncle nelson and others and ate three bowls of rice!!! yahooo!!! lol.. thn came back and thn drank apple juice thn watched abit of tv and thnn.. post on my blog LOL okie thn guys , have a good week ahead god bless !!

2007-05-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

Laaa....todae was kinda okay and tml mothers day..so i post everything tml

2007-04-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

Hallo!!!!! lol!! todae went church late.. alarm clock just froze .. (Thanks to my air-con)hehe but todae was kinda enjoyable went church then lessons then karina scold me.. lol nvm la..thn ltr go lunchy!!! ate fishball noodles and thn went izzys house watch PCK haha!! so fuunni 1 hehe ,thn tml got some stayover and yeah i pray that its gonna b really really really really fun !!!! haha hope everyone will do well for their exams , best of lucks to everyone and people going tml have alot of fun ^^ !!!!! see ya guys dere . Haf a nice Monday and week next week :)

Byeee

Btw.. marcus get well soon !! ( i mean now )

2007-04-22T23:23:00.000+08:00

Hiyahz...todae was kinda nice day until..somethin just came up ... nvm ill talk abt that ltr.. I went to church this morning feeling sleepy had some laughs and stuff , practiced that new song we will be playin fr uncle alvin.. and yeah it was kinda fun, after that marcus hj and i went to macs .. i ate double cheese burger with curry sauce large fries and.. and.. medium coke ,YUMMY!!!
ahh...went hj's hse and hang out awhile thn ltr we played gunz!!! the shotgun owns la!! then some idiot keep spamming rockets and grenades at us ...irritating!!!went for squash , played with nick oe and hj , was alot of fun and getting a hang of squash :) lalala...
Sat
Todae was fine... i cannot rmb what happen all i noe was that i was alone thru that lonely day ... so i dun wan post abt it la...
Fri went izzy's hse for bbq , was fun , shouted alot ...laugh alot , eat alot drink alot ...lol..thn i dunno bah .
I pray that god will give me a happy and enjoyable week next week , I SO DO !!!!
nothing to post alr
Byebye
=DD

2007-04-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hey people !!! i had alot of fun budden sadly tml got school.. i wish now was the school holi's thn i can enjoy life and relax but noo... must have school T.T .

Played soccer with the youth and guess what todae during service we saw.. JOASH AND HENRY!!!! yahoo their back but only for a short while but still can lah... hehehehehehe WELCOME BACK dudes... but william din come back sadly... We got really muddy as it rained at bishan park there so ... we slided we sliped we flew and we broke bones hehehe jk la but it was really fun . Hj and marcus din play la.. wa lao .. if they had played would b way more fun !!!! and thn yestarday youth was fun , i think it was but it was again.. SO nice of dennis to treat us to hans la !!! but we bought him a cake !!

Hmmm.. now im just online , BTW that day i went to my hse then i went to dubs hse then i went to marias hse thn i came back home , lmao veri fun lorhs!!! now a days i laugh alot.. either becasue i made sumthing stupid up or some one else make me laugh hehe
Todae i addie,izzy,dub,cel,hj,marcus and me and izzy's parents went to Harbourfront centre or sumthing to eat lunch and me marcus and hj ate... chicken rice!!! it was kinda tasty , i like the soup !!!! i dropped my 10 bucks into the pot of curry by accident budden the uncle so nice help me take it and give me new change !!! lmaoo , after that we went to hj's hse , i tell u ar at his hse so fun la budden nick oe and joash outside dunno doing what so we stayed in hjs room and use his tablet pc thingy , INK ART rockss!!! thanks hj !!! u let me draw that sketch !!!! :):) thnx alot dude i post the picture in this post ^^ okay.. so now i just haf to w8 for next week again , i always w8 fr next week , i dunno y okay la im going now

BTW

izzy get well soon!!!!!!
hj get well soon !!!
rara din see u at church?get well soon too!!!
Bye bye people !!

2007-03-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

Yoooo !!!! argh! i got sum stupid carnival on sat and im sure gonna be dam boring .. stupid school made it compulsary la...i hate the school... i oni like the food the people( not those showoffs and B*tches la ) looll!! im at home... but.. nobody home so im bored , wait even if got people im sitll bored. Just now at school got 1 show off/B*tch so i didnt like that person and shouted... " U DAM SHOW OFF " thn she stare at me .... so my fren all point middle finger at her to protect me so called.... then she walked away looking angry ( do i care ? NO!) u may think im evil.... but i dun like it too.. they made me say it though... I DUN LIKE IT I DUN I DUN DUN DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN like it !!! RAWR....lmao.. it justs pisses me off although im not right saying those stuffs...
Lol... we carried sophian into the guys toilet then rammed him with the soccer ball and splash water thn ms ong come in the guys toilet to stop us.. a Woman in the guys toilet!! i wanna complain !!!! Had soccer yestarday and played like crap casue not in good shape.. just recover frm sick a few days ago...i save so many balls for zhao xing la that idiot, he make me save until my leg get kicked sooo many times... thn... i dunno how but i actually played rough... LOL .. poor fella got knocked over so many times by me.... i tackling ball he wan disturb.. some more so small size sure he fall over...hehe!!!
Was sleeping peacefully during class thn teacher bang my table!! grrrr... so boring la... it was during science... thn going to have test in 2 weeks.. i wanna top the class again!!!! hmm... suddenly i can post so much again!! yahoooooooo.. thn Faza again 1 idiot go disturb me so i disturb him until he ran away!! yahoo!! we had hairstyling course thn the teachers gave us massage with shampoo and water on the head and boy was that great hehehehehe free somemore who dun wan ????? thn ltr the teacher style our hair, WA LAO the hair styles shiok bodoh !!! i loved mine , thn we took some photos? then my fren help me take thn wan send me too wheeeeee school... is kinda great when u haf fun eh ? but still i wan long pants !!!! 1 more year to goo.. actually less...now all i haf ta w8 for is youth... idunno this week habb anot and my school got carnival so.. might be late??? nvm la just go youth and haf fun like always!!
GOOD BYE PEOPLE!!!! ^^!!!

2007-03-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

Yo.... uhh... hehe nvr update for a long short time eh ? stupid com of my key board got problem then everytime when typing sure haf a mistake or 2 ... i wanna kill my keyboard.. or change it.. or...i dunno, then then then.. got ALOT of freaking pop-ups !! i needa do sumthing quick before my com dies of sickness...okay..i played soccer todae... a bit only and... so sick cannot even shoot proper shots and cannot run straight and cannot trick. so saddening okay.. thn on friday watched stomp the yard with marcus ,addie ,izzy and dubadub !! was a great movie but...was sick and oni enjoyed like half becasue other half i was dying in the cold room , like a meat locker like that la...thnn ltr dub,cel,izzy,addie came over ... for what ar ? izzy did homework.. and then the rest of us chit chat for a long time i think... then ltr it ended and i slept ... thn.. thn...i was sick starting frm thursday.. it was so bad then so yeah that all i have to post for now good nite !! ^^

2007-03-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

Whoooo!! youthnite , i cant w8 .... just dun wan to be lonely =( i gonna try and hangout with EVERYONE!!! but i scared they dun want to hang out with me ... lol im gonna try my best kays guys???!!!!! see ya then !!!>

Went east coast with rain cl evo jt and sq , sooo fun cycle alot then after that went mac' and nw playing guitar, that all boo yeah, good nite

2007-03-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

So long nvr post... on a thursday afternoon im listening to music n doing sum stuff like chatting on msn , its so hard to be a christian .... forgive and forget , wa lao... la its freaking hard to do that , but ive been trying so hard lorh budden still cannot . Life is full surprises , some good some bad .

Past few days have been quite good i guess.. the got detention for not going some hair styling course in school , i went to play soccer instead so yeah i got into shit for nothing la so yeah.... argh i dunno what to post and my dam keyboard lagging so much larh...
stupid keyboard ARRRGghh

nvm im going out now , see u ill post better post other day . HIYAHZ....byebye!!!!

2007-03-03T11:32:00.000+08:00

Alright dammit. Yestaday was okay , was quite fun budden.... was kinda cold . im making my mind up on what to do but i dun really noe what i have in my mind right nw casue its all th stupid thoughts....i shud stop doing alot of things..ALOT of thing.. hiyahz, so confused about what to do with my freakin life already larh.... shit....i hve to go and bath , going to leave hse and go for band practice soon , so yeah .... okay orh ....

Maybe i shud really kill this blog

2007-02-28T19:54:00.000+08:00

Blood... what does it represent ? i kinda used to seeing blood now a days ehh..since that time i cut myself with the kitchen knife in HE to see if it hurt , saw lots and lots and lots of blood everywhere i went :P so funny when i cut my hand , super slow reaction .... like few seconds later then said ow softly not to alert the dam teacher , hehe was fun though , we burn the newspaper like siao nearly trigger the fire alarm i think... but still FUN ...

Ive been doing alota bad stuff these days huh , i wish god can guide me every step in life including now , casue ive been thinking about .... ahh nvmm.. lol tml haf soccer match againsit a werid class with werid people but still just wan to haf fun and training starts soon so yeah kinda happy although.. nvm hope abu and faza coming with me ... then can lerh lah...

okay.. bad stuff's are gonna happen again , i juz got this werid feeling, it doesnt feel right neither does it feel wrong so i guess its something bad.. now i no 1 to talk to bu gloria mei mei , haha well .. little cloudie mei ( gloria) everytime i talk to u , u always try to make me smile and some how i do .... hehe oni got 1 thing to say but i put that last , so yeah i guess i gotta decide go or dun go youth haha .... byebye guys

Thanks gloria mei mei for always trying to make me SMILE !!!

2007-02-26T22:49:00.000+08:00

* YAWN * another lazy day of life , im lazing around at home staring at the computer screen watching naruto .... i got a soccer match tml , lucky got time to practice but still... cannot be over confident larh.. so yeah, lets see wat i did in school todae ,some piehole pissed me off in shcool i wanted to beat the hell out of him but a few punches did the job.. lucky guy , if it was during class time i would have been caught but it wasnt ... whooo!?!?!? ahh..what the hell have i been doing these days .... i guess gonna die sooner or later right ..... im so useless now , i cant do anything right , doing everything wrong, but for some reason... i regret doing all this stupid stuff ... but still i do it.

okay... lets see planning to take a 6 hr walk on friday at night 12 am ... alone , mp3 plugged in , and then walk around and think about my past... and now ... think what i have been doing right and wrong ,although i think i wont get much , still worth trying ... whats the most that might happen ? next day faint lorh ... no big deal i think... going to be 11 soon * kicks the wall * zzzz , time to practice self-control again , sum how becasue of some past events i just went thru , it so called " awakened " my temper .... hiyahz.. time to calm myself down again ...

life is something where u shud expect the unexpected , enough of my speech already , everyones dead from hearing it , i dunno y i still type but yeah .... i guess i have to try harder in everythin i do.... no choice.... if i dun , im gonna die lol... hahahah

Byebye!

2007-02-25T15:42:00.000+08:00

sunday .... lets not use the f word lets use eff instead....todae was werid ...People around me dun notice me...wonder y ? my attitude got problem ar?? what the hell i do sial ..... freak la... hiyahz * sigh sigh * i no hope already larh... sure die one , must faster go tiao loh and end problem then go hell or heaven got no more problem already then dun need worry hor ? nothing happen to anyone if i die right ? ^^ thats the best way for me ( i think nia ) so irritated at dunno what... not my fault i like that right ? i cant be perfect ... dammit some people wun juz listen

2007-02-24T09:55:00.000+08:00

Its sat now ... im posting for no reason ...yestarday sucked hell lot ...everyday people making me and pissing me off GRRRR....i dun wan say who could be anyone but still.. haf to forgive them.Now so boring i guess i shud just keep on playing soccer and forget about worldy affairs , that would have a good and a bad side but if i were to weigh it , the good side would win :)*sighz* at times im always so lonely but i guess im getting used to it , after lookin around .. i guess no 1 cares but oh well =.= even if there was 1 person i would be happy ..ahhh freak i dunno y the hell im saying all this SHIT la....BYE

Night Post :

WAH FREAK LA BLOODY ANGRY !!!!!!!! GRRRR !!

2007-02-21T20:51:00.000+08:00

Hoo... now ish wensday... aiyoh.. tml got hairstyling course again and oh yeah!! got soccer :):):) then next day friday then sat then... WHOOO resting days again :P haha, what u expect from a slacker =DD Okay, i guess todae wasnt that boring becasue i drew kakashi !!! haha ! was fun but now hand's pain...haha dunno y , now ii just be okay :) i dun wan be emo or anything, veri eeeyyyeerrr , when i emo hor now cannot emo , i will become dam freaking angry at people when i emo .... zzzZzzz Dun haf much to post for todae so yeah okay then ill be going haf fun guys!!! byee

2007-02-20T12:25:00.000+08:00

gahh.... shit lah!! another freaking CNY day ... i just wanna stay at home and slack all day but no... parents want me to go out ...... how troublesome
I dun wanna go out already!
Hiyahz.... so sian 1 larh ,everyday of my life is meaningless already , i lost faith in what i used to believe and trust ... all i wanna do now everyday is slack and daze and clouds , budden so troublesome if i bother abt life right? so problematic most of the time , i try to think of it as a good thing budden some people make it worse sometimes larh... ahhhh dammit , shit lah i haf to go out already , life is such a bore ...but ill try nt to make it look as if what im saying is true :) okie byebye

Night post ;

Ahh.... just had low hei or sumthing like that ,enjoyed the smoked salmon , thats the ONLY thing i ate ... zzzz.
Okay for todae , i went out to my uncles house and saw the MANY MANY MANY dogs hehe, Wanda still as cute as ever just that she has lesser fur and... they haf a dog called pepper too , that pepper so poor thing , got kidney problem but still look so cute :)

CNY's gonna be over soooon in a few hours and then its back to school , aiyah.... lol , singlish has taken over singapore !!! im included la.... <---- SEE<-----
Lol,i dunno what to type already , ahhh life's such a bore....
Eeeeeeyyyeerr... i dunno why i said that =X lalalolohahaheehee lol i dunno what im saying !!!
Why do people stone ? i dun find it fun in anyway , i stone the most was like 16 sec's and my record was uhh... 26 seconds? I go time myself next time !!! i wanna to a place ..... that reminds me .... if u wanna run away , u run up and hail a cab and u open the door and keep telling the driver " i wanna go to place " and then see what happpens!!

Okay... umm... well.. im having a soccer match this week on thursday (HURRAY) then on the way back i can buy a burger again !!! ramly's burger are REALLY REALLY REALLY delicious ok...YESSSAAAA!!! downloaded AVG anti-virus and scanning my comp now and BOO YEAH its killing lota viruses for me :]:]

Sat... ice skating.... GO or DUN GO .... such a hard choice to make=.=

ahhh at my cosuins house i played HALO 2... after so long im still good at it :DD hurray !!! i owned him i owned him!!
okayy... i think i typed tooooooooo much for this night post... so okay .. Yeah , but.. before i go

---------->Happy CNY to everyone<--------

2007-02-19T23:02:00.000+08:00

Geez.... uhhh another or chinese new year and now im so bored ... life is so troublesome , wish i could run away to some where and then start a new life all over again . That might be so much better budden theres a chance that thing could get worse .... in my current status ... ill just be a carefree slacker , do nothing but slack , dun worry about anything , forget about all my troubles , haha that would be great but ill take it step by step , now alot of people dun understand what i was saying but then again... who would want to understand ....

Trust ..... is something troublesome too i guess, once u break someones trust , its going to be hard to patch it up but if ur willing to then yeah, theres a high chance of patching it up again :)
Friendship is sometimes troublesome too ... easy to get a friend but hard to keep a friend , guess afterawhile people will get bored of you then find another fren ... thats how i used to be but i changed... but looks like after i changed... and stick to certain frens... those certain frens started to part with me and i realised that its hard to keep frenships strong ... So dumb until i cannot keep my damn mouth shut ( what u expect from a NT student zzzz too dumb lerhx..)

Believe ...ii believed that i could keep on being frens with somepeople and mantain that frenship and make it stronger too... even if i wanted that ,the other would not , hiyahz...life is so troublesome, shud become my old self .
A no lifer that plays maple all day long without any worries , dun care about life,problems,studies ....

But for now , i decided to try again, this time ill try harder but if people dun notice its okay ... i wont take back my words , haha betcha wont believe that but still i will !

Now i dunno what to say anymore after typing so much crap that people also wun read de.... well then just gotta w8 until shitty school starts again zzzz , gonna be so boring

Hiyahz , still deciding go or dun go youth , okay bah i lazy to type anymore , juz wasting time .... bye then

2007-02-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

Lol..... toade collect many ang bao , how troublesome =.= haha now i go sleep nites

Chinese New year... TROUBLESOME

2007-02-18T11:51:00.000+08:00

Geez... Blogging is becoming troublesome...* sigh * stuck at home on a sunday morning and watchin anime huh...although its nice i rather be at church .... uh.. on second thoughts maybe not =.= i dunno y i not bored but still its nice not to be bored , i went online and no 1 was online so .. i continued watching and now waiting for dam cousins to come over then can eat the freaking lunch , geez... so troublesome =.=

Lalala~~... now back to my normal lifestyle already i guess.. nw i dun really go online lerh..casue watching anime or playing soccer in school ?? Geez.....I wan slack all day long budden cannot have to go and visit people de hses and then collect ang bao , hiyah..its gonna be a VERY long long long day todae , slack slack slack is what i can think of now ...grr...soon i go back to watching my anime budden must blog first?? Ahhh... so hungry and theres nothing to eat but lunch...

Now a days i always get bored but i guess its time i got rid of that dam freaking feeling ..zzzz so annoying to be bored , but if im not bored i cannot draw well zzzzzz . ooo got such thing called spelling checker ... right....

Dunno what else to type , todae is gonna be a boring day , i can tell... now and then i really feel stupid for getting angry at something small or someone ....too bad i already got angry ?
but if i was really angry ar.. the people sure die 1 ... i want to kill people sumtimes when angry , gotta find the guts to do that someday!!!

soon i shall just sit in front of the tv and watch mTv and would move :P then i can stay there whole day ( although i wan ang bao , but so troublesome ...) lalala....Geez... this week thursday or wensday got soccer match i alsoo dunno when, gotta ask faza ltr bah , dunno whether bring jersey on wensday or thursday =.= ...

What im listening to : HIT IN THE USA
By: Beat crusaders

Yeah i like this song !! so nice , wish could play like them , wanna go japan !!!
I wan go japan then stay there until i die ??? naw.. im crazy .. ill never make it there , besdies , theres nothing for me here so rather go there =.=

After using the comp since secondary 1 , i realised i liked music alot and now , im a musicholic !!! if theres such a word... Musics becoming my life , so is anime !!! wahhz... im posting so much ar... i didnt notice, just keep typin and typin and typin ,lol, Boring.....

hmmm... i realised nw singapore alot people hor , like ta show off and stuffs...guess from now on i better change ... Geez... so troublesome =.= lately ive been staying at home alot ... listening to music/watching anime/slacking haha... not boring

LOL okay then i go ler bahx.. so sian..Heh.. how troublesome Grr.... stupid dam posts wont show on the dam front page =.=

2007-02-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!!! today was great , had alot of fun but very very tired now ... yeah!! our class won some other class 3-1 in the soccer match !!! whoooooooooooo!!! okay enough of school casue tml going some stupid school trip budden i dun care larh i wan to pon tang .zZzZz....

Now i guess ive just gotta be me and i shud not been the way i was last time ,but still i better be careful bahx... i dun feel right anymore .... but again , sharing this feeling is useless cause no 1 will .... aiyah nvm la forget i typed that , hehe i dun noe whats gonna happen starting from now but ill hold on when i feel like lettin go and ill hold on casue i noe it would get better , now that i noe that god is there with me i feel much lighter :DD but does it really matter.

Is it true that im thinking stupid stuff ? is it true that people arent ignoring me ? u noe what i just dunno but , if they really hate me so much they must as well say in my face... hiyahz...Life...sucks .... but ive gotta hold on still ..... i guess i really did things that people shud hate me for , so maybe now ive got my reason huh ? well i just feel like bashing someone up, ANYBODY would do ....just to let out my anger but then again ..............NVM!!!!!!!

I guess blogging is kinda useless , when u express your feelings it doesnt get to other people so yeah thats abit what lah ... but still... hiyohz.... okay then cha ne!!!! byebye!!

2007-02-06T17:28:00.000+08:00

Wah seh !!!!!! im so sick ... im down with flu/fever/running nose /headache/sorethroat.... ARGH!!! so sian.... nw i at hme doin nothing , was watching bleach budden bui tah hanz already .... watch already until going to fall asleep , i need a new anime go keep me away too !!!

I wanna get well so soon.... i hope the medication the doctor gave would do the job fast enough ,aiyoh... i think i go rest now bahx... good luck with school all !! cha ne !!!!

2007-02-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

oii....now ish friday ....was kinda okay todae ,gort de outdoor learning thingy magic then take care of the old folks...they throw the tennis ball hard sial , kani my head but after awhile nort pain .. then i go play soccer with firull and nabil they all then recess continue and then...ltr after school i and belani go boro ball from ms ong then got bloody time limit sial ... she need to go home early ,so we play and play until dunno what time then i went back , again take bus 12 .

Life still sucks =.= Life getting kinda boring sial...detention like veri fun nw lehx... if come late also can get , i wanna try ... so much for being a good boy =D but can play soccer still can larh .... if not veri boring sial... then i think...

Maybe i shud stop coming online .... also no 1 talk to me sial then i so sianz ..if i dun come online then i everyday play soccer until 6 or 5 plus WHOOOO!!!!!like that i veri happy =DD the most i come home on com listen to music but dunno will online anot...see first lah.. if i wan come online then i online hehe , but now i dunno already larh i think i just give up on everything and play soccer ??? i veri scared to say or do wrong thing nia ... wa lao sia... i so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay monday another soccer day =DD i cannot w8 for school day oldei =.= i dunno if i shud be good or bad anymore............ i guai no use i naughty no use , what the diff ??? lalala~~~ i wont give it up yetz bahz but i will try but if like really cannot work out then i noe what to do already =DD budden afterwhile in the end still will forget me de bahx... hehe enough for the day ..|.[[ BiE BiEx ]].|..

<----- End of post ----->

2007-02-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

gosh , its so hard to keep frens these days T.T sooooooo hard , trying so hard's no use 1..everthing's going back to like when i didnt noe them at church camp sia...played soccer todae... now got sunburn on my neck behind anddddddddddddd on my NOSE T.T so hard to cope with life , and those who say life is BEATIFUL ... i say dream on la... maybe becasue u dont have my kind of problems which like will never be solved ? aiyah dun feel like going church anymore already sial .....Backsliding ..... but what can i do , i pray also nothing happens and i try also no effect , like they would just go back to their own crowd so i just hang around myself and play soccer or guitar or go out of church and walk around .... i guess its the easy way out for me to avoid everyone =D i can see that no 1 notices but right nw... i guess i dont wanna be a somebody . i wanna be a nobody???????? naw.. i dunno la... so hard to decide stay in evangel or leave.... wa lao SIA!!!!!!!!!!!!! so confused sia , wah biangz... god help me T.T
WAHZ....i tio blocked by people , now i noe im annoying , shit la i stop going online alr ....i always say stupid things nia , ARGH * bangs head agaisnt wall really hard *

2007-01-31T17:21:00.000+08:00

Leg pain from soccer.... was kinda nice day todae except when i was online , it always happens... people dun wan tok or busy then dunno la.. nvm about that what i wanted to say was. .... im not coming to evangel for about a month or 2 until everythings better so yeah byebye,have fun guys

2007-01-30T19:40:00.000+08:00

What have i became ? i dont know who i really am anymore , am i really that weak ? what the hell .... i really donno whats happening anymore , things get better 1 moment then it goes back to the same old shitty state ...gaahhh help me someone =.= i cant cope anymore la.... so many things are happening so quick and i regret doing so so so soooooooooooooo many thing that i shud not have done... school was okay todae ,went to KFC (alone) took bus home , took the same way i always came home by , shit la.... then ltr i bathed and came online .... and and and... i dunno lah now im posting some crappy shit stuff which no 1 will read so i dont even noe why im updating but who cares anyway

Things that i think i am : annoying,irritating,stupid,useless,worthless ...

Do i deserve such things ... i guess i do ... i made alot of mistakes...

Was coming to evangel a mistake?

Where did i go wrong?
What did i do wrong?
when did i go wrong?

<----Efforts----->

can i be perfect
in everyway
can i change
in anyway
will i give up
or run away
will i be happy
or sad
Do i
really care about that fad
my hope is gone
wonder if i could call someone up on the phone
talking might make me feel better
my pillows becoming wetter
oh what shit have i gotten into
<--- End of school doodle --->

Will i ever get better , please help me if u could or want to =(
good bye for now i guess i just stop posting until next year or maybe just kill this useless blog

2007-01-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

Sheessssshhh... Sunday it is..gahhh many people now all like dun wan to talk to me anymore.ARGH!!! what the hell la... i dunno what to do anymore ...shit la

Isolation Process : 16% to full isolation

No idea on what to post already..

I seriously dont noe what i shud do next ... look forward to next week ? if i can even manage to make it thru tml =.= sigh sigh sigh

I go and pray ler.... byebye

Look forward to the crappy monday !!

2007-01-27T11:10:00.000+08:00

hiyahz... friday , means what ? its sat tml , gee... im starting not to enjoy this anymore ,whats behind that smile of mine ? behind my smile is my sadness and sorrow that im trying so hard to control.... im becoming annoying i noe , u can hate me u can despise me or anything its up to , its the same even if i dont or have friends , right now i noe , im just a fren who could just be thrown away and be picken up again ....concern is something .... but on second thoughts , sharing my feelings is kinda bad thing , people get annoyed...trying to fit in was useless i noe , now i just shut up and do as im told , every single thing im saying now , i noe people will start getting annoyed by reading my post so, this is where i stop ,with nothing left and a long way ahead , no nothing ...slowly ,friends will leave 1 by 1 just becasue im annoying but i understand. Sorry's no use anymore i guess, u all think ill do it again , no 1 trusts or believe me anymore huh...its ok .. i just put up a fake smile =D and then walk away or sumthing but , i just wanna have friends that care and that i can talk to , im glad i have some of those people now =D like Celine,addie,debbie,oe,rachel << im quite sure , i dont noe about nick nor izzy ... not sure anymore T.T wished u understand

Oe right nw , i beg u to help me , i kneel down before god , i want to ask for forgiveness , is it possible , i hope it is .......

<--------End of Friday post--------->

2007-01-27T10:57:00.000+08:00

shit!!! gahh... if i leave evangel maybe better nia ...is this really happening or is this a dream huh ?? Am i dead yet ? maybe , its becasue of my words everyone finds me annoying , its just my thinking....hiyahz... Thanks cel and izzy for the great fun i had at ur house yestarday ^^!!!!!!!.

Well then ill just treat everyone nice , but even if they dao me or anything ill still treat them nice ,after all...... ahhh...=.=

Everywhere you go
U see friends or Foe?
Trying to fit in with them
But never will
Seeking friends
that dont want to be with you
This is just my thinking
Hope its not true.

Now and then i have smiles , but are they for real ? usually its real... but.. sometimes there are some that are sad smiles , but they dont know ... ill stop here , i feel like im annoying ... i slap myself to wake up but it doesnt work .... * sigh *
The end of a another miserable day ? but i have yet to see what happens at youth today ??

2007-01-22T17:07:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!!!!!!!! i wanna change the past !!!!!!! if i had never gone to that evangel church camp NOTHING would have happened!!!!!!! I WOULD BE MISERABLE MYSELF AND NOT WITH OTHERS ARGH!!!!!!!! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!no 1 believes my part of the story , i dont mind , ill just leave .... and then u all can just forget me , i was never there , never meant to be , i dont noe y god sent me there , for what purpose , why must this happen ? for what purpose slowly everyone's not gonna care about me , soo i shud just backslide and dunno do what the hell ,its no use anymore i cant hide my feelings anymore its too much to take it i dunno why ARGHARGH
, lets trying cutting wrists like other people do , they get better dont they ? huh huh huh ? tell me what the hell i shud do , take the blame ? i dun mind but , WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPOSE TO DO NOW ?GIVE ME A DAM FREAKING BREAK WILL U!!!!!GAHHHHH , SELFCONTROL HUH ..U THINK I CAN CONTROL ANYMORE IF U THINK SO COME AND SEE MY I EXPLAIN MY SHIT TO U , U THINK U CAN CONTROL ???/

2007-01-21T21:59:00.000+08:00

its sunday...its night time.. i dun wanna slp...izzy im not ignoring you...val i will always be ur gor ....todae i really dunno what to post todae i keep my mouth shut =X good nite tk care ,btw im not ignoring anyone if u think i am then im really sorry =(

2007-01-20T08:23:00.001+08:00

Yoooo!!!!! wahahha im posting and its night time but i wan this post on top ...lol i was going to jog then i decided to walk with addie home , so we walked and talked and talked... =D was so fun lah!!! umm... youth was great... now i forget the past and carry on with life ^^ , band prac so fun!! learned alot of barre chords from auntie ceila but left guitar in church... tml gif my parents to take back lol, i lazy!!! yay tml go william hse but sad sad joash leaving!!!! booo !!! lol tml must taopok him then toss him into the pool!!! wahaha !!!wheee i love todae .... then on mrt i deb and marcus and addie and bryan talked and talked and talked again =P then debbie so funnie take marcus mp3 then started joking!! wahaha then marcus pouted? LMAO todae... ondeh ondeh ,cel,rach,and few other usual youths never come!!! lol do come nxt week ar!!! lol!! yay!! getting good in guitar ... getting used to it too !!! whooo hooo!!! ok gotta sleep now i mean go online.... lol kkz byebyezz !!!!!

Nice walking with u addie ^^

NITES ALL

GRATS OE FOR GETTING INTO SQUASH =D!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<---- end of night post----->

<----Morning post----->
Boo yeah!!! todaes...sat ...oh man im so worried... lol last night i fell asleep when i said to cel i was gonna stay up la =.= so so so sorry =( !!! wahh todae got band pracz...wheee hooray!!!i dont really have much to post now casue its early in the morning and i still dont noe what time is band prac =.= wa liew la!! ltr go call marcus ...

Now listening to Sore ga ai seshou ( could this be love )
really really really great and sweet song , i love to listen to it ....
i was listeing to nobodys home before i fell asleep last night
SORRY AGAIN CEL!!!!!

ohh... now listening to perfect.. such a sad and nice song ... but the lyrics is FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! lool , every in this world isnt perfect,i dont noe why but sumtimes people always think they are dam freaking right ? gahh... shud not talk about it ... i dont want to start another 1 =.=

Life is starting to get kinda boring , casue or S-C-H-O-O-L =.= so sian 1's always trying not to sleep but end up sleeping.. these few days i sleep so much oh..

This is a poem i made

Life is becoming meaningless
its always full of sadness
but at least i know that people care
at there are some out there who are fair
each day i cry
the people who care ask why
now im joyful
and really thankful
it is time for life to carry on
<---- End ---->

WAH!! i think that poem sucked zzz my vocaab not so great la... slowly by slowly i will learn and get better...stupid teachers... like everyday i got test to do 1 sia...unfair!!!! recently ive been writing alot on the blog , haha , but i dont really think my posts are joyful to read larh... their kinda boring !!!!!!!!!!

ooooo and now , listening to paris hilton ( Nothing in this world )
i like the song!! the vid abit !!!! the lyrics rock
everytime i listen to this i feel happy!!! =DD ( even losers get lucky sometimes eh ? )
its such a nice song .... its a love song too i guess ....

Now i really love watching MTV feel the music !!!! i get to read peoples feelings and comments about the songs but some of them really saddening larh.. like beyonce's irreplaceable , that 1 alot of people broke up and they tell their feelings about the video and their personal stuff lah... wah im typing loads of crap , people probally wont read , so its ok... nvm 1 =.=

i wish everday also gort youth or like we can go to church and study ?? that would be great la !!! music is something i really cant live with out huh ...

well, seems like everything's getting better now .. i THINK !!! but i really thank god and the people who helped me lah they helped the most , giving ideas , advice and their view about it , thanks cel izzy nick oe dub addie !!!! u all really helped alot =D
looks like i thank and say sorry to people alot.

GAHHHHHHH CRAP!!! i got carried away with talking ... no one really understands but... its worth repating until they understand , on second thoughts i wont... it would only annoy them =.= okie this is where i stop T.T good bye !!! =D hehehehe!!! till tonite or tml ~!!!!

CEL SORRY I FELL ASLEEP HOPE UR READING THIS!!!

2007-01-19T18:17:00.000+08:00

HURRAY!!!! its friday and that means 1 thing !! TML GORT YOUTH!!! WEEEHAAAA!!!! YEEESSSSSAAAHH!!!!!!! okk...well todae was fun ... sliding all over school with my shoes ...it was so fun but i fell on my butt larh...ahaha!!! then recess was ok... then at soccer... we din have much time ... soo we could not really play lah .. then so boring i fell asleep !! wheeee , i din eat at recess , no money school wan us buy so many things... STUPID NGEE ANN DOING WHAT SIA.. they so rich sia... wa liew !!!!

OOO... i found new pic of hitsugya , I THINK its new la.... ill post it around here bahx.... hehe kinda nice ..... his bankai thingy!!! HITSUGAYA TOURISHROU ROCKS !!!! now wanna start watching a new anime ... but i dunch noe what to watch man.... todae i think im posting veri long ?

Now listening to ... umm.. listening to Gone by switchfoot , kinda nice .. the lyrics is okok...
i love music i love music i <3<3<3 music!!!!oh well nothing to post now , marcus tml got band prac ?? lol

Cel , i hope ur headaches gonna be gone soon and for izzy also hope u get well soon, will pray for u all ^^

OEEE got get into squash anot ?? jia you kays ??? !!!!!!!!
GOD BLESS ALL OF EU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! =D=D=D
BYEBYEBYEBYEBYBYE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

DUN WORRY AND BE HAPPY (^00^) =.=

2007-01-18T17:08:00.000+08:00

i feel like im gonna die , so weak....soo so weak ... i can barely stand up ...aww shit....
this sux, i feel dead.ahh todae another boring day of school, im sad...soo sad... gahh i hate this freaking feeling im having , but if i was gonna die now ... i dunno nothing much would change .... cant w8 for tml . PE then sure play soccer...feelings all mixed up ! im feel so horrible .. i guess this is what i get for being a naughty boy ? ahhh im burning up ...i feel so weak i might just faint ...god... help me ... i plead for mercy T.T gahhh....i cant stand it anymore !! hiding my feelings for too long isnt gonna help at all !! ARGHHHHHARGHARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im going crazie !!

I wish someone understood me.
listening to the song Beatiful , its so nice , i <3 that song... sigh gotta goo... goodbye for now i might post tonite if i can even move an inch ....* drops dead *

im back now.. soo boring, im dying im crying , out of all the things i have to do i have to be sad ? dammit !!! sooner or later everyones gonna get annoyed or MAYBE they are already annoyed , how the hell am i supossed to noe huh ? i wann to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Now listening to we believe
ill type out the lyrics

Theres a woman crying out tonight
her world has changed
she asked out why
her only son has died and now her daughter cried
she cant sleep at night

this parts kinda meaningful but the chorus..

We believe?i cant really believe anymore , im too afraid to believe, i have lost my confidence ,all hope is lost this blog is dead wish god could help me out.
Life has became so meaningless for me ... i get ignored , i get scoldings and i get punished .
i noe i deserve this but its becoming a little too much for me to take it
so this world is too much for me to take just let it down and follow you ?

Theres nothing im good at but getting into lots and lots of trouble , now so little people talk to me , is it becasue of who i am ? or what i am or what im doin now ? if u could explain that to me ... im always so lonely when i go online to MSN , no 1 has ever started anything since like 4 days ago ? always i start and then some people dun reply =(
i wish for happy days T.T

The sad music im listening to now makes me feel horrible , i think about what ive done over and over again but it never stops, if my heart beat stopped now it would be good wouldnt it ? no more me , no more of my nonsense , no more of my emotions no more of everything and anything ive got ... no more ahum.. forever .. some people shud be happy... im gone i cant annoy them anymore can i ? i rather feel regret then pain its about the same thing

I cant live in this shit anymore
im becoming such a bore
People dont understand me
i wish i was free
a carefree life would be great
is this feeling hate ?
i guess im idioitic
and im not poetic
so this poem kind of sucks
i dont noe why im doing this " shucks! "

there u go my lousy poem i came up with ...i dont think i could do any better then that... then now i go and draw and even my drawing sux... so oh well , cannot rebother to do anything else... byebye .. if ur annoyed by my stupidity ... im soo so soo so sorry , just gotta w8 for youth byeee

2007-01-17T16:53:00.000+08:00

wow....its wensday .... this is the 14 year and 17 day of my life , yet some people cant see my existence, oh well.. gotta get on wif life ? Day ...17 or jan , im still asking myself , am i still in deep shit ?? i havent woken up have i , normal tec student , results suck , trouble seeker .. ok maybe not but the trouble some how finds me.

heres something from a song called Rewrite and i guess its kinda nice so yeah ill put it on my blog.

Wanting to spew out the jarred thoughts is
Because there’s no other proof of my existence
My future that I should’ve grabbed hold is
Conflicting between “dignity” and “freedom”

Wanting to erase the distorted afterimage is
Because I’ll see my limit there
In the window of the excessively self-conscious me
There are no dates in last year’s calendar

Erase and rewrite
The pointless ultra-fantasy
The unforgettable sense of being

Revive
And rewrite
The meaningless imagination and the driving force that creates you
Give it your whole body and soul

After cutting my feelings that grew, I regret
After realizing that after all, I’m just a mediocrity, I cry

rase and rewrite the depressed heart and the dirty lie
The pointless ultra-fantasy
The unforgettable sense of being

Revive
And rewrite
The meaningless imagination and the driving force that creates you
Give it your whole body and soul

i like the song becasue of the lyrcis just that its actually all japanese , got it translated.
do u noe the song wonderwall ? i hope u do its like really nice yeah ,

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

another boring day of school ... had home econs and guess what ? we cooked chicken curry =.= mine tasted ok ... but.. i finished everything during class and got scolded ( not allowed to eat in class ) lol then went to the toilet , some inconsiderate person left the school cleaners a BIG NICE BROWN PRESENT , i ran out of the toilet becasue of the horrible stench, then recess ... played soccer had fun drank green tea again ate mee rubus.... the sci then end school ,same old routine taking bus 9 then walking home blah blah blah blah ...

i was online then no 1 talk to me so i went away then i fell asleep becasue i was too sian and got nothing at all to do , now a days so boring becasue no more holidays anymore =(so long more till youth la like its never gonna come or something!!! argh!!! i wished it was sat todae and i was at youth talking, playing and fooling around with e youths ...tmls gonna be another boring day in school huh...gahh it always is , I demand holidays !!!!! argh argh argh !! hope i can go to youth and sit at the staircase wall again... i find it nice but 1 bad thing i drop then byebye .... hehe okie im going now good bye !! SAYONARA !!!!!!!!

2007-01-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

* sigh * , i want it to be friday todae but cannot !! unfair !! i want to see my frens and the youth !!! schools becoming really boring , gahh i cant keep up wif this.... posting every single day but ill just have to try , it takes 21 days to form a habit =.= this is like day 9 or sumthing !! so much more to go , must have a habit of blogging everyday T.T, MUSIC IS MY LIFE !!!!!!! =P that was random but i love music !!! hehe , looking forward to sats and suns , not looking forward to school days at all , oh nozz i dun noe what to say....well no choice but to post at night ? naw...

updated my blog to google thingy , photos can now be put on my blog ^^ wheeee!!!!! so happy ,well then maybe i shud post little by little everyday ? gahhh ...

todae school was ok ? then on the way back , went to take a bus to tanah merah mrt to top up my ez link and saw someone i knew but dun dare to say hi , lol, in school falling asleep ( sure 1 la ) then recess ate... some werid thing i dunoo what it was... then drank green tea n ate fish ball noodles, played soccer then went back to class... then nearly died again but ... DNT was fun todae!!! i did so many things so well ^^

Exams should be coming soon , hope i can make it into NA but will have to stay back then cannot wear long pants la........ SO UNFAIR 1 !! RAWR!!! now listening to how to save a life by the fray , its really nice !!!

I wanna learn well to play the guitar really well , now , im just a beginner ? taking step by step... gonna make playing the guitar a habit for me!!!! whoo hooo!!! must find some chords to play lerh .. if not will be so boring at home!! lalalla~~~ hope people tag and taggggggggggggggggggggggggg my blog!!! keep it lively .... or maybe i just kill it , so confused oh well im going nw ... byebye!!!!!

2007-01-15T17:47:00.000+08:00

oh my oh my.. the days are like passing by so so so so fast =P wish it was friday , then next day will have youth !!! wahahaa...i wanna eat mac's!!! lalala~~ i think i shud post at night casue i dont really have much to post now but ... a dedication song from me =P

Old mac freddie had a ondeh ondeh , eyai eyai oh .., with a ondeh ondeh here,ondeh ondeh there ,here ondeh there ondeh ,everywhere ondeh ondeh , ONDEH ONDEH OH!!!
see ya guys tonite ^^

lookie!!! spidermans (the guys) yeah i love that pic man it totally owns u!!! whahahaa ...now i shall show u our room condition wahhaha nvm la i post tonite !!!!! yeah yeah yeah !!! finally can do photos

Right now i may be going through hard times , but when i think of my frens beautiful smiles , i feel warm , i feel happy , and that it is more the enough to keep me happy , ill pray for the youth once every single week without fail , i like them as my frens ,each and everyone.
i pray that god would guide each and everyone of them through life , as for me i dont really have much hope or future do i ? but lets not start on that =D i pray god would take care of all the youths and the adults in evangel,and i also pray for ALL my frens out there would be safe and sound with their familys =D well then good nites !

And I need you,
And I miss you,
And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time
would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you...
Tonight.

It's always times like these
When I think of you,
And wonder if you ever think of me.

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong.
Livin' in your precious memory.

'Cause I need you,
And I miss you,
And now I wonder...

If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time
would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you...
Tonight.

I, I, don't wanna let you know
I, I, drown in your memory.
I, I, don't wanna let this go.
I, I, don't.

took this from the song 1000 miles , if oni u knew * sigh *

2007-01-15T14:24:00.000+08:00

HiHi guys ^^ well, its another odinary sunday , but.. todae , i went to the airport with cel,izzy,dub,addie and rachel , we had lunch and i loved the chicken ( not marcus ) if was kinda fun though,went to izzy and cels house , was kinda fun hehe i drew some werid boat they have on their piano , i sketched it la.. hee. Watched Korean Drama ...i liked it thought BUT BUT BUT i will not get addicted to korean dramas !!! never!!!!( got a slight chance ) was fun << la =".="">

2007-01-13T20:46:00.000+08:00

<----- Depression's final victory----->
He was only two years old,
his momma dressed him warm
to protect him from the cold,
she held him so tightly in her arms
that no one could have guessed,
that day, she would bring him great harm.

She boarded a bus and headed
to morning side,
to a spot on a highway overpass
where they both will die,
she stared at the traffic down below
what was going through her mind,
only her and god know.

Those who saw them that day
thought that something was amiss,
but before they could intervene
she jumped into the abyss,
both mother and son
will breathe no more
their soul will awake
on god's celestial shore.

He was a gifted two year old boy,
who like every little child
had a favorite toy,
before he was two
he would recite the a b c,
and the language of French
he speaks fluently.

She was an educated and
caring person,
who's depression each day
had only worsen,
a condition of the mind that
so many tend's to ignore,
with medication and
people who care,
her normal life could have been restored.

People every where
please be aware,
and to a depressed person
show affection, attention and care,
though some knew she was depressed
they didn't seem to care,
she thought this was the only way out
of this depression
that she could no longer bear.
<---- The end ----->
If only that woman was me , after dying , i wont have any more problems , maybe thats the oni solution,i guess its the easy way out but who would care anyways ,there are so many other people out there , if i die , nothing would change ...nothing .... i just wished every understanded and cared sigh a few more hours to youth ... ill post another poem

<---- Inside ---->
People ask me whats the matter
But I just cant say
It'll make my heart get sadder
And longer the feelings'll stay
They just don't know how hard it is to let go
'Cause it hurts more than they know
I learned to love it all
But I cant believe that wasn't my call
Just so much regret, it burns me inside
People just don't understand what I got to hide
<-----The end------>

That poem that i made , i hope u all d understand =(
ok now i go and do somemore poems good bye =( hope u all understand

2007-01-13T11:41:00.000+08:00

wheee... * sigh * i wish i could stop , i cannot help thinking sad stuff T.T slap me slap me real hard !!! argh!!! i swear to god i MUST STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING ANYMORE !!!!!! ARGH!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!! ill stop this soon i promise T.T i have to solve this slowly gimme time guys

2007-01-11T17:47:00.000+08:00

Nooo!!! Ive been really lonely these days , now i hang out with nick,Oe,celine,izzy,dubdub and addie becasue they understand ... but i dont really think the rest do.
I have been having many problems , solving each and everyone slowly, and now everyday , i look back and i knew what ive done but what can i do to say sorry , ive done so much bad and so little good , i dont really deserve to be respected by anyone ...

Listening to the song " Irreplaceable " and was thinking ...

Ive got thoughts about killing myself casue i have too many problems , complications ... what the hell .
For once i wished everyone understand me , im not seeking attetion or anything , all i want is to have great friends which i always wished for ... every where i go i get treated like shit , have u ever felt unwanted ?
do u even know what the hell im going through ? u think its easy to cope like this for a 14 year old boy ? I may act as if everything is ok but inside i wanna cry so bad.

Life has ups and downs eh ? why must my downs be now ? everyday ? everyweek?everymonth !
.....Beyonce sings this " You must not know about me,You must not know about me,I can have another you by tomorrow,So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable" think about what it means ?
i guess this must be like what i made people think ? I wish i lived a Life without so much problems while im 14 T.T.

Windmill windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all it on your stride
It is Sticking , falling down
Love forever love is free
Let's turn forever you and me
Windmill windmill for the land
Is everybody In?

Sigh ..... Bye... ill post again tomorrow , I feel horrible/saddened/angry/worried after writing this post , some people shud hate me for who i am but i hope not my true friends !. Thank you Guys for being there for me , i appreciate it ,

Thanks nick,oe,celine,izzy,addie and dubdub for being there for me

<--- A poem--->
In that forgotten part of town
Where wasted hopes and dreams abound,
A wrinkled man with life near end,
In hopes to have at least one friend,
Fashioned bits of wood and things
And made a dummy run by strings

He sat alone for hours on end,
Conversing with his only friend
And found delight within the fact
That he controlled it's every act.
He told it how he never had
A chance, since all his luck was bad
Although he'd tried so to succeed
-The dummy nodded and agreed.

And how his journeys in romance
Had never given him a chance,
And wasn't it a crying shame
That he was always held to blame
When everyone knew, oh so well,
That life is but a living Hell,
Controlled by lust and power and greed?
The dummy nodded and agreed.

With patience that would rival saints,
That dummy sat through all complaints
And, with each little expert tug,
He'd droop his head or bow or shrug
And give some comfort to the man
Who held his lifelines in his hand
And helped to fill a lonely need
When he just nodded and agreed.

Senility increased with time

As did the old man's phantomime,

And feverish fingers pulled with glee

The dummy's dance of misery.

They never left each other's side

Until the day both stopped and died.

We found them lying, hand in hand,

The dummy - and his wooden friend.

<--- The End --->

From this day onwards i will learn from my mistakes , thanks cel!!!!
Ill smile everyday for u guys to see !!!
=D !!!

2007-01-11T08:08:00.000+08:00

Ahhh... another day of school T.T well i love my teachers casue they tell me bed time stories all the time , wooty !!! saw another fight in class todae, its veri common !!! whoooooooo this fat guy got punched in the head and started crying ... but no 1 cares cause everyone dun like him . wheeee i cant w8 for youth , .... i hope something bad doesnt happen zzzzzz.... dun worry addie i wont become emo ... the most i sit at the staircase and look at e beautiful sky... nooo still got 2 more days of school ARGH!!!

u see that pic ? whooo its the mess in the guys room ( me , hj,joash and marcus ) ... i like joashes pink shirt !!!! i enjoyed it in cambodia, was fun made new frens . I WAS A SHEPERD T.T , merry christmas and a happie new year to everyone !!! LALALALA, i must blog more , like writing and essay just that its short formed la... changed my hair casue i cut it ...i think it looks ok but i prefer my previous hair , i guess it looked nicer !! now in school their teaching us NT students how ta write programs... so " COOL " lmao . wheee

Mei i Forgive you ok ? ive also been really what...

Well then guys , i gotta go ... BUHBYES!!!!!!!! how come no picture !! nooo!!

Im so sorry celine !!

<------- My Wishful Thinkin ------>

Day after day , Night after night , my friends slowly leave me ,
I ask myself why ,
is it becasue im no fun anymore ?
Sooner or later
ill be alone
i would isolate myself in my room all day
i think and think
but nothing comes out and i wonder everyday
why is this happening to me
is this karma ? or is it becasue i deserve it ?
i used to have alota frens but,
they went to their other frens,old and new
and later they forget who i am
i guess i kinda derserve this ?
i am the worst in my family
the first in the normal tec stream ,
the naugty one and the one which everyone looks down on
i get into shit all the time
canings,punishments,detention
i get ignored , i get daoed
and now , i dont really care anymore
i dont want to live a life in shit for my entire life
maybe i shud just be anti-social
and not open my mouth ?
i know i utter some freaking stupid stuff to anger other people
for once i wish i was dead
why did god want me to be on this earth this family this place
i dont belong anywhere now
and now i hate every beautiful day
i wanna live a joyful life
where people want to talk to you wanna be your fren
thats what i want , but somehow
it doesnt work out , its like maybe ill get that fren for 4 months ?
then they will go and find other frens or go back to their frens
im becoming something worse every single day?
i hope i can overcome all these problems ?
and i hope Celine,Izzy,Dub Dub,Addie,Rachel,Han jie,Nick,Joash,Oe,Val(mei),Kim and somemore youths
Will still be my fren and always will be ,
and always be there for me , if i had a wish , thats what i would wish for
<----- The End ---->

2007-01-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

I feel like shit , ive been such a jerk , im a bloody idioit, im good for nothing , i have no right to exist !!! i hate life more and more day by day night by night, scoldings, warnings , all day long i keep getting them , whats my purpose on earth? make people angry and fustrated at me ? i dont want to exist , i dont like life anymore , every1 and everything has gone againist me. Now i think like a dumbass,my dreams are crushed,i see no future for me. I wanna jump! im getting SHIT every SINGLE day !!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

2006-12-29T17:56:00.000+08:00

i wanna die die die die die die , damn it damn it dam it dam it ARGH!!!!!!!!! i cannot stand it anymore i wanna blow

2006-12-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

im sooo bored ... feelings mixed up , shitty feeling sigh .... merry christmas .... i wanna die T.T so many problems argh argh argh

Christmas Post 1

2006-12-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

Yooo people !! =DD going to cambodia tml for mission trip = ( , dun worry!!! i will be back on e 13th of dunno when but , will enjoy the trip becasue of
1: Marcus
2:Val ( mei mei )
3: han jie
4: oe ( auntie oe )
5: nick
6: joash ( yeah yeah yeah man ) XD
7:celine
8:izzy
9:jem
10:debbie
11:rachel
12:audrey
thats all i guess =DD whooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! first timer for me !! i wonder if i can survive there =P wheeee i dunno what to talk about gibberish =DD , btw i must jia you faster 3rd job !!! lvl 60 lerhx omg omg omg T.T 2 or 3 weeks left larh btw kim dun get lonely while ur in singpore =DD wooty doodle blah blah !!! oh man addie not going so addie... BETTER HUGG UR RABBIT MORE AND MORE lool uhhhh oh noZ!!! i running out of words help help i hope i spammed enough though , cant w8 for death note 2 !!!!!! whooooo sianz sian sianz sian good luck for next year all

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S ! ! ! ! ! !
Buai Buaix me ish ahum !!! sayonara people * wave and wave and wave *

Gibberish

2006-12-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

sallowatjimacallit,konichiwa,poo,Baka-na,buku teh,watashi wa nahum das,mucusu,nafumu chibu,val bear huggerno i sit on the cocoa tree,sister mary, protein baby,im not A perpetual hugger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????!kim is!!!!!!!dooooorrrrrrrrrrssssssssstttttttttttoooooooooooppppppppppppppp
=DD

2006-11-13T14:45:00.000+08:00

Yo dudes , been a long time since i last posted rite ? uhh maybe not , its been a VERY looooooooooooooong time ler so yeah here i am todae posting casue i got time. Me been playing computa games alot alot alot alot so yar not much time left to do anything but ill keep trying to post k guys ? seee ya dudes some other time =) bibi~~*

2006-10-31T00:47:00.000+08:00

Yeah , todae was a great day but kinda boring and after watching death note that day , i was really happy and wanted to watch again as it was sooooooooo awsome . " L " is soooooooooo cool wahahah i love him la he rocks but that stupid gay guy named light with that tv ad gal are gonna kill him T.T soo saddening grrr unfair !!! lalala like to wish my mei a happie bdae , i guess too late but yeah sorry !!!! XDXDXD byebye !!!!!!!

2006-10-30T12:07:00.000+08:00

Yoo all once again , just like to wish my Mei Mei a happy birthday ^^ now ur 12 hehe but still younger then me . Todae at church was okok i guess it was fun , and death note rocks !!! " L " rocks !!! Its a nice show and its cool too , hope u guys out there will also watch ^^ cant wait to watch dead or alive hehe i heard from a fren it was great so yeah good bye for now till next time Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie !!!!!!

2006-10-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

Yo all !!! zZzZ tdae was another boring day at school , watched a stupid ghost movie called ghost ship which was like ... Super old !!!!!! losing my voice from screaming in school XD nothing better to do. I played card games in classs like mad , making teachers crazy? yeah it was ok larh hope thursday would be better TML HOLIDAY!!!! can slack XD lol buaii buaii all !!! ~~*

2006-10-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

Dam my posts .... whered it go?

2006-10-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

Well , hello guys zZzZzZz sleepy i dont even know why im posting now but today , which is sunday was kinda i boring so yeah i hope it would be better next week T.T grrr tml got school good nitey

2006-10-20T18:31:00.000+08:00

ZzZzZz yo ppl im starting my bog over again ^^